I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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