I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
