Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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