So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
