you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize