Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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