I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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