were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
