This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
