I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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