I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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