i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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