i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
