The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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