Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
