But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
