check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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