I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
