Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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