Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
