he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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