Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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