He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We are two peas in an std pod
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize