just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dick very happy bro
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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