just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
