Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We need to get me chipped asap
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
