Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
