so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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