8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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