I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
