Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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