Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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