Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
