im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize