No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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