this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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