who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
