Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
