The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
