dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
