OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
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the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.