She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...