Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.