You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.