Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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