This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
