Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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