I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
