Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
