his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
