your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
