mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
