finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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