If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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