Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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