I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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