So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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