you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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