Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
