Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
