So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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