I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I deserve this hangover.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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